It's instances like this that make me wish for a camera crew

On our trip to Destin, Florida my boss rented a van. It was the only way that Debbie could fit her parents, my (great) Aunt Pita, my cousin Tanner, and myself. Not to mention the fabric and decor for the condo. The van was one of those vehicles that had an automatic door. You could just push a button and the door automatically slid open for you. Pretty nifty huh? Except I got stuck with the door that would not open automatically. I had to have someone manually open the door from the outside.

Well before our trip, Debbie had to stop by one of her co-workers to drop off paperwork. She ran inside for what was supposed to be a quick hello (actually we were all stuck out in the van for about 45 minutes) and ran back outside with what seemed like an entire family. One of them happened to be her co-workers son.

"Uh-oh look what we have here-eye candy" I exclaimed.

Well knowing Debbie I should have expected what was next. A knock on the car door window with Eye Candy right by her side. An introduction. (You see Debbie and my Aunt Pita-are doing this to me constantly. They are my personal cupids.) After introductions were made and we started chatting a bit awkwardly (The entire family was surrounded by my side of the vehicle), I heard someone instruct me to get out of the car. Alright. Well I pushed the little "Open Door" button and nothing happened. Hmph. So what I did next seemed like the next logical thing to do-I rolled the window down just enough to allow room for my torso, propped my feet up on the seat to get leverage, and stuck my body half way outside the window to open it from the outside.

Bad idea.

The next thing I knew the door was opening on it's own and I couldn't stop it. Half of my body was stuck-helplessly-arms flailing on the outside and the rest of me was ass up in the air inside the car. All I remember is Debbie screaming "The door is going to cut her in half" while she pulled on my arms. (Honestly I don't know what she was trying to accomplish)

My aunt yelling "Heather pull back inside!!!" and me screaming "I can't!! My boobs are too big-they won't let me-I've tried".

And there I was helplessly flailing my arms, flopping around like a fish out of water until finally I had enough sense to put my hand on the window controls and roll it-up at first but then back down enough for me to squirm my out. When it was all said and done everyone was really quiet until I finally took deep breath and said "Well that has to be the worst first impression ever".

And everyone laughed. (I mean I think we laughed about that half of trip)

Except for the guy who apparently couldn't get out of there fast enough. He was already gone by the time I made it out of the van.

Marriage.

I don't want to be married. Ever. I don't feel that it is necessary to be married in order to proclaim one's undying love towards another. The engagment ring, parties, wedding ceremony, and overall finalization of the process does not appeal to me. However for some reason when most people hear me say that I don't want to be married they automatically think that I never want to "settle down". This is not the case. The unwillingness to be married does not mean that at some point down the road I will not be open to meeting someone that I would like to spend the rest of my life with. A "life partner". However I do know that if this were to occur, I don't even want to "merge" everything together. While I have no problem exchanges keys and maybe setting up one bank account together, I do have a problem with sharing my space and not having my own money to do whatever it is I want to do with. I've decided that if the circumstance should happen we would both keep our own houses, I don't mind how often said partner stays over or pops in whenever, or has his (or hers-HEY! You never know!!) designated space I just MUST have my own space. And my own money. I don't mind sharing, I just don't want to merge.

Even at an early age when I was playing Barbies the thought of marrying my Barbie to Ken depressed me. It was something that my other playmates thought the best part, while I would put down my dolls and proclaim "I'm not playing anymore-it's over. This is boring now"

And that's how I feel how about it.

I love this picture

I don't know what it is about it...

Somewhat Amusing

Last night I was hanging out with my brothers in their game room and they started talking about driving school. Somehow they ended up with a little jingle and decided it was something they wanted me to film and post it on youtube. So here it is. Thought I would share it; it's mildly amusing and a glimpse of what goes on in my world.



Yes-we're always this retarted.

BUT the night did end on a good note before I returned home-my mom came in and informed everyone that Junior received a call from SMU and he has an interview!! YAY!

Pointless...Seriously I dont know why I wrote this; it is nonsense.

Alright so I know that the last blog I posted was in the middle of the night when I was S-A-U-C-Y. And I know it doesn't make much sense, and I promised that I would explain later and indeed I will, but not tonight. Because tonight my focus is not clear due to alcohol (again) and all semi put together thoughts are interuppted by TM's from a very handsome ER doctor that I met last night...That won't leave me the eff alone..and my bosses...who swear up and down that I should do stand up.-

Now a bit of background on my part time job-I help stage and decorate houses for a local realtor in the DFW area who also happens to be a part of the "family". She loves me. She bribes me to stay the night with her by presenting me with bottles of champagne and vodka..She wants me to work extra with her and apparently make her laugh. She also owns houses all across the country that she flips and rents out. One of the houses in construction happens to be the house that I'm at now. Have to stay here and wait for the construction crew to get here tomorrow.

I forgot what the purpose of me blogging this was....Oh yeah...I tried to get mty cousin/boss to film me on one of their laptops but neither of them have the equipment...I wanted everyone to see me do my chubby kid impersonations...They make everyone laugh...

Whoops just heard the sound of the cork....and that's my cue..

Ugh I'm tired though..

Sorry if this is all over the place....eventuallly I'll get to a point..until then..wait on my videos!
'

Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity!

Best pick up line ever! And I'll explain later. For now...I'm gonna chat with my cousins WoW buddies on the head/mic piece and do traffic reports!! Cause I'm hilarious! No seriously...everyone else thinks so!

peace out home skillets..

Rootie tootie fresh and fruity biatches...

Never chug half a bottle of Grey Goose & drink Coors Light.

You will surely want to die.

And maybe I exagerrate a bit because it was about two shots less then half a bottle, but I was challenged to down it and down it I did. Geez Louise and the coors light. I hate coors light, it's like drinking grasshopper piss. Light beer by itself gives me migraine type headaches so I usually stay away from it, but noooo not last night. Those are two combinations I will never put together again.

I woke up this morning still not quite able to walk straight and already at a 6 on the pain scale. don't have to go into too much detail-I'm sure every drinker has had the type of hangover that leaves you with an unquenchable thirst and a stomache that tosses water right back up. I'm there.



And I don't know what is worse; The fact that I had to drive home on an incredibly bright and sunny day with this massive hangover, or the fact that I'm dog sitting for my mother and the damn dog won't leave me alone. She's tiny enough to hop pretty much everywhere and currently her favorite thing to do is pounce up one arm (or the back of the couch), pounce across my neck area, and finally pounce on my stomache. The dog is a pouncer. She doesn't walk, she hops. She's a damned mutant crossbreed between a chupacabra and a rabbit. She's also an alcoholic and I'm sure can smell the alcohol on my breath because she is constantly trying to sniff and lick my mouth.

I'm out, going to shuffle around and find a sleeping aide.